SHARK WEEK'S EPIC CONCLUSION

MEGA SHARK VS. GIANT OCTOPUS
in HeckleVision - text your jokes on your phone and they appear on the screen with the movie!
Sunday, August 8 at the Alamo Ritz
Advance tix available right here

What can I possibly tell you to describe this movie any better than the title already does? There's a huge effing shark and a gigantic prehistoric octopus.

Why are they fighting? Who cares? Thousands of years ago in some sort of prehistoric time when all kinds of shit was bigger than it is today, they got into some sort of battle to the death. But before they could finish their epic war, an ice age came along and froze them. So then millenia later Debbie Gibson (literally, she's the lead in this movie) goes to try to check out the migratory patterns of some humpback whales in a stolen submarine, but something goes wrong and the big ass shark and jumbo octopus are unfrozen.

Fortunately for the "plot," the newly released megabeasts randomly take a break from trying to kill each other, instead opting to go their separate ways to explore the oceans and get pissed off at off shore oil rigs and submarines and merchant ships and everything else they come into contact with. Naturally it's up to Debbie Gibson to join forces with Lorenzo Lamas to see if they can entice the two beasts into one final death match.

So yeah, this movie is HORRIBLE. They cut from an interior shot of Debbie looking at stuff through the window of the submarine to very obvious stock footage. The giant shark that for some reason eats an airplane is made of the cheapest CGI you can find this side of the 90s. Debbie Gibson never had an acting career for a reason. And yet... you know you want to see it, because it's a movie about a huge fucking shark fighting a gigantic prehistoric octopus!

Fortunately, there's also HeckleVision, so during the parts of the movie with bad effects and nonsensical plot points you'll be able to text your jokes to our computers and then everything you type will end up on the screen, just below the film itself. PLUS we'll have some of the folks from The Asylum, the company responsible for the brilliance of this movie along with SNAKES ON A TRAIN and that SHERLOCK HOLMES that came out recently but doesn't star Robert Downey, Jr. (but does feature a T-Rex), live in the theater joking along with us!

Like all great things, even Shark Week has to end. But we've saved the biggest, sharkiest show for last.