Back by Popular Demand! THE WILD & WONDERFUL WHITES OF WEST VIRGINIA

THE WILD & WONDERFUL WHITES OF WEST VIRGINIA
Sunday August 1 at Ritz
Monday-Thursday August 9-12 at Village

After a handful of sold-out shows, we realized we weren't alone in loving this demented thrill-ride doc about the White family. The outlaw clan have fought and cursed their way into our hearts, snorting lines and slinging dope throughout this film with no remorse or hint of stopping. We love this movie, which is as hilarious as it is heartwarming, and so will you.

Because of the overwhelming success of our initial few showings, we're bringing back this delight to the Ritz and the Village for some special showings. Be sure not to miss this film that everyone in Austin is raving about.

One of the best documentaries we've seen in a long time. We knew West Virginia mountain dancer Jesco White from the 1991 doc DANCING OUTLAW but we never could have suspected that, despite all his gas-huffing, pill-popping and Elvis-emulating, he was the most normal member of his family. THE WILD AND WONDERFUL WHITES paints a vivid, hilarious and genuinely moving portrait of an outlaw clan, straight out of popular myth and legend, surviving into the 21st century and adapting their family's hell-raising folkways to a whole new era.

None of the Whites seem to have jobs, there are vague allusions to different criminal activities that may or may not have made them secretly wealthy, and their lives seem to be one big party spiced up with vulgar country music and substance abuse at a level that would put Keith Richards in the ground. There's also some very serious talk about a blood curse and a demon that pursues them. The family has had its share of troubles with murder, drug addiction, alcohol, difficult relationships, guns, inhalant abuse, frequent incarceration, etc. but at the end of this film you may find yourself feeling a swell of admiration for this tightly knit clan who live by an ethos that can best be summed up as, "Fuck It". An instant classic of outlaw cinema.

Get your tickets for Ritz
and/or Village here.

Master Pancake: SPIDER-MAN
Advance tickets for the 7/29 show at Lake Creek available here
Check out the other SPIDER-MAN dates here

Master Pancake is kicking off their July/August shows tonight at Lake Creek with a thorough trouncing of the 2002 Sam Raime directed SPIDER-MAN. Don't miss all the web-slinging, wall-scaling, upside-down kissing action as the guys tackle everyone's friendly neighborhood Spiderman.

In this thinly veiled coming of age allegory, Tobey MacGuire plays Peter Parker, a quiet teenager who likes “Mary Jane”, “photography” and “shooting webs” in his bedroom. But his world is turned upside-down when a bite from a radioactive spider transforms him into a badly rendered CGI stick figure. In an insanely literal bit of casting, Willem “Dafoe” lives up to his last name here as Spidey’s arch-foe the Green Goblin. And speaking of literal, Kirsten Dunst is literally and figuratively the girl next door, as the egregiously bedimpled Mary Jane Watson. Also, James Franco (FREAKS AND GEEKS) looks sullen and James Dean-esque as Peter’s best friend Harry. Master Pancake is looking forward to squashing the blood out of this annoying bug of a film. Featuring guest mockers Mac and David of Mascot Wedding Productions.

Air Sex Preliminaries at the Ritz!

AIR SEX Preliminaries - Wednesday 7/28 9:30 @Ritz
Advance tickets available here

In 2009 we appeared on Bill Maher and the Bad Girls Club, toured North America and crowned our first ever Air Sex World Champion. Now in 2010 Air Sex Comes Back. We're taking the pretend bedroom by storm this July, August and September at the Alamo Drafthouse and expecting bigger, harder and better performances!

Never been to an Air Sex show before? Here’s what you need to know: it’s a lot like Air Guitar, but instead of rocking out with an imaginary guitar, you’re making sweet and/or filthy love with an imaginary sex partner. You choose a clip of music, you show up in whatever sort of wardrobe you like, and you come up on stage and show everyone how you do it. Or how you wish you could do it. Or how you once had it done to you, and oh my god was that a bad idea and while it’s embarrassing to show that act to a room of strangers, you know that you need to do it now in order to make sure that no one else falls down the same rabbit hole you got stuck inside. Or, you know, just do it however you want.

The only rules we have are the laws laid down by the state we’re in. Since the Alamo serves alcohol, you can’t get naked. And since we serve food as well, all orgasms have to be simulated (or at least arguably so). Other than that, you’re free to do whatever it takes to impress the judges, the audience in the theater, and the world!

Want to compete? Sign up at airsexworldchampionships.com.

Get your tickets for this great show now.

Celluloid Handbag: WHATEVER HAPPENED TO BABY JANE

Rebecca Havemeyer's Celluloid Handbag: WHATEVER HAPPENED TO BABY JANE - Tuesday 7/27 @Ritz
Advance tickets available here

The Alamo is proud to start off a new series, Rebecca Havemeyer's Celluloid Handbag, with WHATEVER HAPPENED TO BABY JANE, the cattiest film in history. Hosted by Austin's most fabulous drag queen Rebecca Havemeyer, Celluloid Handbag offers a night for all you cinema-divas out there to congregate and celebrate.

A Titan against a Titan! A Crone against a Mannequin! An Icon against an Icon! The time has come for one of the biggest blow-outs ever to mash against the Silver Screen in an attempt to save two dying stars from turning into wretched black holes!! You will never experience the extreme lengths at which a fading actress will take to steal a scene until you sit your happy asses down for the showdown of a lifetime that is....WHATEVER HAPPENED TO BABY JANE? Witness BETTE DAVIS duke it out with JOAN CRAWFORD using weapons of mass destruction, including, but not limited to...dead rats, dead birds, jugs of liquor, wheelchairs and portly mama's boys!! This amazing psychological horror flick is richer and more disturbing than Daddy Warbucks putting Little Orphan Annie to bed, and CELLULOID HANDBAG is proud to present it to you on a silver platter! Join ya' not-so-sane hostess REBECCA HAVEMEYER as she drags you through a night of sheer hell with two of the biggest stars known to hate each other more than their critics. You will leave smiling and drooling...guaranteed. (Rebecca Havemeyer)

Get your tickets for this great show now.

COMEDY GONE WRONG - So unfunny it's hilarious

COMEDY GONE WRONG

Monday 7:45 at the Ritz

Click here for tickets and more info

We've all seen bad comedians - comics who lack timing, personality, material, simple human dignity...the effect can be like watching a car crash happen right next to you. You feel like you should avert your eyes, but you can't. This show is a tribute to all the terrible comics and also to all the comics who have a bad night every once in a while. While comedian Andy Ritchie worked with a well-known comedy booker, he brushed elbows with famous stand-ups and some of today's finest comedic minds. He also saw an endless stream of unsolicited audition tapes and demo reels. From the delusional and misguided to the downright baffling, he collected the best of the worst. Charlie Sotelo, late of the Show With No Name, has his own collection of audition tapes and on stage disasters to bring to the party. Ritchie and Sotelo will present highlights from their collections to bring you a night of the worst and most awkward moments of all these documents of desperation. The results are somewhere between a kick in the groin and a choir of heavenly blonde angels singing you to sleep after pleasuring you in ways you never dreamed of. With special guests, surprises and a lot of laughs!

TIME TO POWER UP AND PARTY DOWN LIKE YOU'RE 9 AT THE CARTOON CEREAL PARTY THIS SATURDAY!!

Cartoon CEREAL PARTY: SUPERHERO EDITION
Saturday, July 24 at Ritz
Advance tickets available here

Remember when Saturday mornings meant more than just the chance to sleep in and forget about your weekday grind? Remember when you weren't sophisticated enough to actually know what meal of the day brunch was, and the idea of a mimosa was kinda strange and/or icky? (champagne and orange juice, what..?)

Back in those days free of adult responsibilty and full of blissful ignorance, Saturday morning was a time to hop out of bed bright and early, hit the kitchen, and then get to the nearest TV to plop down and gorge yourself on cartoons and Count Chocula. Ah, simpler times... Unless you had those weird parents who made you practice violin or something on Saturday mornings and had strict policies against sugar cereals and/or fun (I'm betting both).

Well, either way, it's time to re-live (or live for the first time!) those glorious days of cramming your brain and belly full of colorful, sugary visual and gastronomical junk food with this all-new, all-superhero edition of CARTOON CEREAL PARTY!!

This time out, we're filling our screen with an attention span-challenging 2.5 hours of superhero awesomeness. (Think about how long 2.5 hours was when you were 9! That was like forever!) All the evil-fighting, justice-loving, cape and non-cape wearing greats will be represented -- from Super Friends to Underdog to Powerpuff Girls, and probably more than a few superheroes you've forgotten now that you're a brunch-eating, mimosa-drinking "sophisticated" adult.

Although, maybe the awesomest thing about this party is the fact that you actually are an adult and no one will be there telling you not to eat too much cereal or that you're sitting too close the screen. No, no, just the opposite: This party features 50 (!) different varieties of sugar cereal served ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT! Don't even bother getting dressed on Saturday, just roll down to the Ritz in your PJs (we do ask that you don't show up naked, it's not quite that kind of party). So come, eat up, and sit as close as you like. We promise we won't tell your parents or significant other.

Your last chance to experience the terror of HUMAN CENTIPEDE

HUMAN CENTIPEDE - Wednesday 7/21 and Thursday 7/22 at Lake Creek
Advance tickets available here

Tom Six's insane biological horror film HUMAN CENTIPEDE (FIRST SEQUENCE) has been turning heads and churning stomachs for a while now. If you are still working up the courage to watch this in the theater, you better hurry up, because you're running out of time! Not only did this film win Best Horror Film at FF09, but it also took Best Horror Actor as well for Dieter Laser's portrayal of the mad Dr. Heiter. This is definitely a film that has to be appreciated on the big screen (eating or drinking while watching is purely optional).

Billing itself as a 100% medically accurate horror film, HUMAN CENTIPEDE tells the tale of Dr. Heiter, a once respected surgeon who specializes in separating Siamese twins. Not satisfied by the simple parting of conjoined twins, he sets his sights on evolving his craft by joining three humans together with one digestive tract. When two lost tourists come knocking on Dr. Heiter's door, his demented plan starts to take shape.

If you're in the mood for a great shocking horror film, or need a lesson in the dangers of going "ass-to-mouth", HUMAN CENTIPEDE will not disappoint.

Sundance Hit DADDY LONGLEGS at the Ritz

DADDY LONGLEGS - Sunday 7/18, Monday 7/19 and Wednesday 7/21 @Ritz
Advance tickets available here

A beautiful and artful film from the streets of New York is getting some select dates at the Ritz this week. DADDY LONGLEGS is one of the most touching and dark films of the year, and we're very proud to offer an Austin exclusive engagement of it. Masterfully shot and performed with brilliance by a cast of unknowns, DADDY LONGLEGS is the kind of American art film that stays with you for months.

A young, helpless single father is allowed a few weeks visitation with his darling adolescent boys. He is tragically torn, as so many parents of our generation are, between being their friend and being a father, and he is unable to ever strike the correct balance. Everything this man does is with good intentions but poor decision-making, and in doing so he brings to light some of the most troubling aspects of modern parenting.

Filmed on a low-budget and in a Cassavetes camera style, DADDY LONGLEGS is a new kind of a film with a sense of urgency and realism reminiscent of the impulses of the French New Wave. The directors are able to capture a dream-like portrait of New York, endlessly nostalgic and yet somehow also of our time. This is not to be missed.

Get your tickets for this great show now.

HEAVY METAL vs. NEW WAVE! Jeff Krulik and Chuck Statler hit The Ritz!

*%$#LOADS OF VIDEOS with JEFF KRULIK Live!
Sun at Ritz

POP AND NOT-SO-POP CLIPS with CHUCK STATLER Live!
Mon at Ritz

This Sunday and Monday, we'll be showcasing the work of two of the secretly perfect men of American entertainment!

About JEFF KRULIK: Many consider HEAVY METAL PARKING LOT to be one of the defining works of the '80s. And it is. Hilarious, unbelievable and 100% REAL, it's persevered as a truly classic mini doc. But creator Krulik has never stopped chronicling amazing, gut-busting and truly unusual people across the globe. From raging pro wrestlers to Jew-obsessed shut-ins to all-chimpanzee rock bands, Krulik has fearlessly delved into the strangest chasms of the world.

On Sunday, he joins us in person to present selections from his skull-rattling filmography, including monkey manifesto I CREATED LANCELOT LINK, oddball celebrity travelogue ERNEST BORGNINE ON THE BUS, the unstoppable, aforementioned HEAVY METAL PARKING LOT and many more. Buckle in your brainpan for 90 minutes of truer-than-life impossibility!!

About CHUCK STATLER: Devo!! Elvis Costello!! Pere Ubu!! James Chance!! Tiny Tim?? A/V pioneer Chuck Statler has worked with them all, creating the template for music videos before MTV even existed. Beginning with his ambitious work in the '70s and '80s, Statler's vicious dedication to new ideas shines through like a white hot laser, and even his work from 3+ decades ago is STILL ahead of its time. Tonight, he personally brings us a top shelf selection of his most legendary and/or unusual videos. Running the gamut from the beginnings of new wave to the brave new world, Statler is a relentless source of inhuman creativity. You'll be shocked, amused and completely detonated.

Both shows are cheaper than hell and funner than anything else in the world!
Get your tickets HERE and HERE!!

Party Like It's 1999

The Action Pack presents
THE PRINCE SING-ALONG
Thursday, 7/15, 10pm at the Ritz
Advance tickets available here

It isn't your everyday androgynous pop star who can succeed in making himself into an icon, but then there's nothing everyday about Prince at all. While "formerly known as" jokes will chase after him for as long as his legend lives on (which will be forever), he's still got so much credibility that the only criticisms of his 2007 superbowl performance have been that maybe his silhouette guitar-penis wasn't overtly sexual enough.

This Sing-Along Extravaganza will celebrate the entire career of his purple highness, so whether you were first introduced to his music because your 12-year-old guy friend took you to see PURPLE RAIN for Appolonia's boob scene, or because you just really, really like Batdance, or even because back in 1999 you kept asking everyone around you, "Are you sure we're partying hard enough, given what year it is?" - No matter what, there will be something for everyone.

Come early, wear purple, sing loud.

Horror Remix: Sports

HORROR REMIX: SPORTS
Wednesday at Lake Creek Tickets Here

July 14th is the only day of 2010 with no professional sporting events. It’s the day after the MLB All-Star game and the baseball players are still off. All the other major sports are off season and the World Cup is but a fading memory. So, what’s a sports fan to do? Hang out with their family? Hell no. Horror Remix gots yo back with the most dangerous game: appalling sports-horror movies. For those not familiar with Horror Remix, think of this as bloody Cliffs Notes full of awesome.

Horror Remix takes 3 similarly themed films from the golden age of gore and condenses them all to 2-hours full of win! This month, HR takes the “offensive” on FATAL GAMES (1984), THE MAJORETTES (1986), and KILLER WORKOUT (1986). Spandex, legwarmers, shower scenes, ‘roid rage and bodies stuffed in lockers. Killer Workout is all you hoped for, and so much more. As always, Horror Remix is FREE, but you can guarantee your seat with a $5 food voucher. So, get off the bench and get into the game, before it’s too late!

Wild. Wonderful. Whites.

THE WILD & WONDERFUL WHITES OF WEST VIRGINIA

Tuesday & Wednesday at The Ritz

Tickets & Showtimes Here

One of the best documentaries we've seen in a long time. We knew West Virginia mountain dancer Jesco White from the 1991 doc DANCING OUTLAW but we never could have suspected that, despite all his gas-huffing, pill-popping and Elvis-emulating, he was the most normal member of his family. THE WILD AND WONDERFUL WHITES paints a vivid, hilarious and genuinely moving portrait of an outlaw clan, straight out of popular myth and legend, surviving into the 21st century and adapting their family's hell-raising folkways to a whole new era. None of the Whites seem to have jobs, there are vague allusions to different criminal activities that may or may not have made them secretly wealthy, and their lives seem to be one big party spiced up with vulgar country music and substance abuse at a level that would put Keith Richards in the ground. There's also some very serious talk about a blood curse and a demon that pursues them. The family has had its share of troubles with murder, drug addiction, alcohol, difficult relationships, guns, inhalant abuse, frequent incarceration, etc. but at the end of this film you may find yourself feeling a swell of admiration for this tightly knit clan who live by an ethos that can best be summed up as, "Fuck It". An instant classic of outlaw cinema.

Cinema Club presents film noir w/ Eddie Muller

Cinema Club: CRY DANGER w/ Eddie Muller - Monday 7/12 at 7:00pm @Ritz
Advance tickets available here.

The Cinema Club is very excited to bring film noir expert Eddie Muller to Austin for this awesome and incredible film. Muller, whose expertise on the genre has earned him the title of "Noir Czar," is a wealth of knowledge and insight. He is the author of many books on the subject, and his efforts to restore films from the past through the Film Noir Foundation have helped to preserve the history of film noir.

Muller is here to present one of his favorite films: CRY DANGER. This rarely seen film (not available on DVD) is a gem of the genre. Muller calls CRY DANGER a “crackerjack crime film – short, smart, sassy, and full of surprises.”

This Monday is sure to be one of the most memorable Cinema Club presentations of the year. Be sure to come see film noir expert-extraordinaire Eddie Muller chat with us about dames, plugs, and who's gettin' socked.

Get your tickets for CRY DANGER here.

PREDATORS opens at Ritz this weekend

PREDATORS - starts Thusday 7/8 at midnight @Ritz
Advance tickets available here

Yes, the long awaited quality-sequel to the gloriously awesome 1980s PREDATOR series has finally come. Does it have intergalactic explosions? Sure does. Is it better than AVP: ALIEN VS. PREDATOR? Bet your bottom dollar it is. Does it star hunky-nosy Adrien Brody? Absolutely.

PREDATORS is awesome, and it's got a lot going for it. For one, it is shot right here in Austin Texas! But it isn't the Bat City of tacos and hipsters that you're used to; it's Austin dressed up to look like an alien combat planet. The film is also produced by Austin hero Robert Rodriguez and it stars the greatest living Trejo, Danny Trejo. Rodriguez and Trejo team up again for this year's much anticipated MACHETE, but you can see them first in PREDATORS.

The film is remarkably faithful to the world of the original films. It constantly hearkens back to the original series and will make you feel right at home amidst the killing and the combat. The story: a group of trained killers are abducted and brought onto an alien planet. They soon realize they are being hunted by an elite new species of Predators. The tables have turned but the action's still explosive.

And best of all, Mr. Adrien Brody is awesome as the lead mercenary. He has bulked up since his days winning Academy Awards, and now he's ripped. For much of the second half of the film, Brody is going shirtless and let me tell you, he's been doing some pushups.

Get your tickets for this great show now.

True terror with festival favorite CROPSEY!!!

CROPSEY - Mon thru Wed at The Ritz!

Smash hit of Fantastic Fest 2009!

"On several levels, this film is a real-life horror story that puts most Hollywood movies to shame." - Lou Lumenick, New York Post

"Perched at the intersection of psychological survey and serial-killer exposé, CROPSEY loosens the girdle of the documentary form to accommodate much more than facts." - Jeannette Catsoulis, New York Times

CROPSEY is a creepy documentary that explores how fact and fiction intersect in a real-life murder case in Staten Island, New York. Like many kids that grew up in the area, directors Joshua Zeman and Barbara Brancaccio were told the story of Cropsey, a lunatic child-killer that escaped from the Willowbrook Mental Institution. Cropsey was treated as just another urban myth until Jennifer Schweiger, a young girl with Down's syndrome, disappeared from her Staten Island home in 1987.

After Jennifer's disappearance, three more kids -- all of whom suffered from a mental or physical disability -- also turned up missing. Jennifer's corpse was eventually found near the site of the abandoned Willowbrook campus. Andre Rand, a disturbed transient who worked at Willowbrook until it was shut down, was quickly identified as the main suspect. The evidence against Rand was circumstantial at best, but he was convicted and locked away. Twenty-two years after his initial conviction, Rand was convicted of the murder of one of the three remaining missing kids despite the fact that her body was never found.

CROPSEY is built around Zeman and Brancaccio's detailed investigation of the Rand case. The film presents interviews with family and friends of the victims, police officers who investigated the case, Rand's associates, and people who claimed to have been witnesses or potential victims to his crimes. The filmmakers also weave the Andre Rand case into the weird, secret underbelly of Staten Island. Through newsreels and new footage, the filmmakers examine the history of Willowbrook, which was famously exposed by Geraldo Rivera as New York City's dumping ground for the mentally ill. The weed-covered Willowbrook campus was once rumored to be the stomping grounds for transient child-abusing cultists led by Andre Rand. Now, teenagers enticed by rumors of satanic sacrifices visit Willowbrook at night for scary thrills.

The film also details the unsolved disappearances of dozens of kids all over Staten Island, and many people believe that Andre Rand was somehow involved. Cropsey asks a lot of questions, and the answers (or lack of thereof) are very disturbing. (Rodney Perkins)

Don't miss it! Get your tickets HERE!

HAPPY 4TH, AMERICA!

TEAM AMERICA Quote Along

Sunday at the Ritz

Master Pancake: INDEPENDENCE DAY

Friday, Saturday & Sunday at the Ritz

WILLIE NELSON'S 4TH OF JULY PICNIC

Sunday & Monday at the Ritz

At the Alamo, we hold a few truths to be self-evident. One, that we are endowed by our creator with certain inalienable rights- things like life, liberty, the internet and so on. Two, pickles are better fried...and if you dip a fried pickle in queso, and angel its its wings.

This 4th of July, we've signed our John Hancock on a horn-o-plenty of patriotic events designed to not only make you love this country, but to make you lurve it. Whether it's standing up with your fellow man and shouting in one voice "America, Fuck Yeah!" at the TEAM AMERICA Quote-Along or enjoying a beer while Willie and Waylon toke and jam out for lady liberty at WILLIE NELSON'S 4TH OF JULY PICNIC, we've got something to make you proud to be an American. And we've got $100,000 worth of high-explosive, patent-pending mortars we're going to set off INSIDE THE THEATER, that's how much we love this country.*

I guess what we're saying is, "we will not go silently into the night. We will not go down without a fight. We're going to live on. We're going to survive. Today (well Sunday) is our INDEPENDENCE DAY!" (Bill Pullman, President of the United States)

Happy 4th, America! Let's keep a good thing going.

Tickets for the TEAM AMERICA Quote-Along

Tickets for Master Pancake: INDEPENDENCE DAY

Tickets for WILLIE NELSON'S 4TH OF JULY PICNIC

*$100,000 adjusted for inflation since 1776.

You can't keep a Good Shark Down

BIG SCREEN CLASSICS: JAWS
Saturday and Sunday Matinees at the Ritz
Tickets and showtimes here

Even though the JAWS Floating Roadshows set for this weekend have been postponed thanks to the dumb weather, we've got the print of Spielberg's sharksploitation masterpiece and we're going to run it this weekend at the Ritz no matter what. For those of you who are scared of Great White Sharks (ha-ha!), we will send in a crew Saturday morning to shark-proof the entire theater.

Click here for more information about the postponement.