"And I DON'T wanna miss a thing!!!"

Action Pack Theater presents
ARMAGEDDON
Sunday, June 6 at the Ritz
Tickets here!

Live Explosions!

Before Michael Bay was tarnishing our childhoods with racially stereotyped robots, he was blowing our minds with threats of global annihilation and...regular human stereotypes. Ever since that marketing countdown clock appeared at my local cinema announcing ARMAGEDDON's arrival, I knew my world was going to change, and man did it ever! From that point on, I now rank all films on a one-to-five ARMAGEDDON scale: 1 being 1/10th as good as ARMAGEDDON, and 5 being half as good as ARMAGEDDON (which is as good as any movie could ever hope to be). Join us for Action Pack Theater Presents ARMAGEDDON where we will be embracing our natural handicap for immaturity and blowing as much pyro as we possibly can in the span of ARMAGEDDON's spectacular 150 minute run time. Join big dick Harry Stamper (Bruce Willis) and his rag-tag group of roughnecks as they take 12 days to train for the world-saving mission no man at NASA would dare embark on: stop an asteroid the size of Texas from eliminating all life on Earth as we know it. We will be handing out confetti guns to recreate chaff floating around on the asteroid, also we might have some animal crackers for you to run around on your love ones tummy with while we sing along to the single greatest movie anthem of all time (suck it, TITANIC!), Aerosmith's I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing. So come on out and join the shuttles Freedom and Independence and do the same thing with other people at the exact same time, because otherwise, what the hell are we trying to save? (Greg MacLennan)