Back by Popular Demand! THE WILD & WONDERFUL WHITES OF WEST VIRGINIA

THE WILD & WONDERFUL WHITES OF WEST VIRGINIA
Sunday August 1 at Ritz
Monday-Thursday August 9-12 at Village

After a handful of sold-out shows, we realized we weren't alone in loving this demented thrill-ride doc about the White family. The outlaw clan have fought and cursed their way into our hearts, snorting lines and slinging dope throughout this film with no remorse or hint of stopping. We love this movie, which is as hilarious as it is heartwarming, and so will you.

Because of the overwhelming success of our initial few showings, we're bringing back this delight to the Ritz and the Village for some special showings. Be sure not to miss this film that everyone in Austin is raving about.

One of the best documentaries we've seen in a long time. We knew West Virginia mountain dancer Jesco White from the 1991 doc DANCING OUTLAW but we never could have suspected that, despite all his gas-huffing, pill-popping and Elvis-emulating, he was the most normal member of his family. THE WILD AND WONDERFUL WHITES paints a vivid, hilarious and genuinely moving portrait of an outlaw clan, straight out of popular myth and legend, surviving into the 21st century and adapting their family's hell-raising folkways to a whole new era.

None of the Whites seem to have jobs, there are vague allusions to different criminal activities that may or may not have made them secretly wealthy, and their lives seem to be one big party spiced up with vulgar country music and substance abuse at a level that would put Keith Richards in the ground. There's also some very serious talk about a blood curse and a demon that pursues them. The family has had its share of troubles with murder, drug addiction, alcohol, difficult relationships, guns, inhalant abuse, frequent incarceration, etc. but at the end of this film you may find yourself feeling a swell of admiration for this tightly knit clan who live by an ethos that can best be summed up as, "Fuck It". An instant classic of outlaw cinema.

Get your tickets for Ritz
and/or Village here.

Master Pancake: SPIDER-MAN
Advance tickets for the 7/29 show at Lake Creek available here
Check out the other SPIDER-MAN dates here

Master Pancake is kicking off their July/August shows tonight at Lake Creek with a thorough trouncing of the 2002 Sam Raime directed SPIDER-MAN. Don't miss all the web-slinging, wall-scaling, upside-down kissing action as the guys tackle everyone's friendly neighborhood Spiderman.

In this thinly veiled coming of age allegory, Tobey MacGuire plays Peter Parker, a quiet teenager who likes “Mary Jane”, “photography” and “shooting webs” in his bedroom. But his world is turned upside-down when a bite from a radioactive spider transforms him into a badly rendered CGI stick figure. In an insanely literal bit of casting, Willem “Dafoe” lives up to his last name here as Spidey’s arch-foe the Green Goblin. And speaking of literal, Kirsten Dunst is literally and figuratively the girl next door, as the egregiously bedimpled Mary Jane Watson. Also, James Franco (FREAKS AND GEEKS) looks sullen and James Dean-esque as Peter’s best friend Harry. Master Pancake is looking forward to squashing the blood out of this annoying bug of a film. Featuring guest mockers Mac and David of Mascot Wedding Productions.

Air Sex Preliminaries at the Ritz!

AIR SEX Preliminaries - Wednesday 7/28 9:30 @Ritz
Advance tickets available here

In 2009 we appeared on Bill Maher and the Bad Girls Club, toured North America and crowned our first ever Air Sex World Champion. Now in 2010 Air Sex Comes Back. We're taking the pretend bedroom by storm this July, August and September at the Alamo Drafthouse and expecting bigger, harder and better performances!

Never been to an Air Sex show before? Here’s what you need to know: it’s a lot like Air Guitar, but instead of rocking out with an imaginary guitar, you’re making sweet and/or filthy love with an imaginary sex partner. You choose a clip of music, you show up in whatever sort of wardrobe you like, and you come up on stage and show everyone how you do it. Or how you wish you could do it. Or how you once had it done to you, and oh my god was that a bad idea and while it’s embarrassing to show that act to a room of strangers, you know that you need to do it now in order to make sure that no one else falls down the same rabbit hole you got stuck inside. Or, you know, just do it however you want.

The only rules we have are the laws laid down by the state we’re in. Since the Alamo serves alcohol, you can’t get naked. And since we serve food as well, all orgasms have to be simulated (or at least arguably so). Other than that, you’re free to do whatever it takes to impress the judges, the audience in the theater, and the world!

Want to compete? Sign up at airsexworldchampionships.com.

Get your tickets for this great show now.

Celluloid Handbag: WHATEVER HAPPENED TO BABY JANE

Rebecca Havemeyer's Celluloid Handbag: WHATEVER HAPPENED TO BABY JANE - Tuesday 7/27 @Ritz
Advance tickets available here

The Alamo is proud to start off a new series, Rebecca Havemeyer's Celluloid Handbag, with WHATEVER HAPPENED TO BABY JANE, the cattiest film in history. Hosted by Austin's most fabulous drag queen Rebecca Havemeyer, Celluloid Handbag offers a night for all you cinema-divas out there to congregate and celebrate.

A Titan against a Titan! A Crone against a Mannequin! An Icon against an Icon! The time has come for one of the biggest blow-outs ever to mash against the Silver Screen in an attempt to save two dying stars from turning into wretched black holes!! You will never experience the extreme lengths at which a fading actress will take to steal a scene until you sit your happy asses down for the showdown of a lifetime that is....WHATEVER HAPPENED TO BABY JANE? Witness BETTE DAVIS duke it out with JOAN CRAWFORD using weapons of mass destruction, including, but not limited to...dead rats, dead birds, jugs of liquor, wheelchairs and portly mama's boys!! This amazing psychological horror flick is richer and more disturbing than Daddy Warbucks putting Little Orphan Annie to bed, and CELLULOID HANDBAG is proud to present it to you on a silver platter! Join ya' not-so-sane hostess REBECCA HAVEMEYER as she drags you through a night of sheer hell with two of the biggest stars known to hate each other more than their critics. You will leave smiling and drooling...guaranteed. (Rebecca Havemeyer)

Get your tickets for this great show now.

COMEDY GONE WRONG - So unfunny it's hilarious

COMEDY GONE WRONG

Monday 7:45 at the Ritz

Click here for tickets and more info

We've all seen bad comedians - comics who lack timing, personality, material, simple human dignity...the effect can be like watching a car crash happen right next to you. You feel like you should avert your eyes, but you can't. This show is a tribute to all the terrible comics and also to all the comics who have a bad night every once in a while. While comedian Andy Ritchie worked with a well-known comedy booker, he brushed elbows with famous stand-ups and some of today's finest comedic minds. He also saw an endless stream of unsolicited audition tapes and demo reels. From the delusional and misguided to the downright baffling, he collected the best of the worst. Charlie Sotelo, late of the Show With No Name, has his own collection of audition tapes and on stage disasters to bring to the party. Ritchie and Sotelo will present highlights from their collections to bring you a night of the worst and most awkward moments of all these documents of desperation. The results are somewhere between a kick in the groin and a choir of heavenly blonde angels singing you to sleep after pleasuring you in ways you never dreamed of. With special guests, surprises and a lot of laughs!

TIME TO POWER UP AND PARTY DOWN LIKE YOU'RE 9 AT THE CARTOON CEREAL PARTY THIS SATURDAY!!

Cartoon CEREAL PARTY: SUPERHERO EDITION
Saturday, July 24 at Ritz
Advance tickets available here

Remember when Saturday mornings meant more than just the chance to sleep in and forget about your weekday grind? Remember when you weren't sophisticated enough to actually know what meal of the day brunch was, and the idea of a mimosa was kinda strange and/or icky? (champagne and orange juice, what..?)

Back in those days free of adult responsibilty and full of blissful ignorance, Saturday morning was a time to hop out of bed bright and early, hit the kitchen, and then get to the nearest TV to plop down and gorge yourself on cartoons and Count Chocula. Ah, simpler times... Unless you had those weird parents who made you practice violin or something on Saturday mornings and had strict policies against sugar cereals and/or fun (I'm betting both).

Well, either way, it's time to re-live (or live for the first time!) those glorious days of cramming your brain and belly full of colorful, sugary visual and gastronomical junk food with this all-new, all-superhero edition of CARTOON CEREAL PARTY!!

This time out, we're filling our screen with an attention span-challenging 2.5 hours of superhero awesomeness. (Think about how long 2.5 hours was when you were 9! That was like forever!) All the evil-fighting, justice-loving, cape and non-cape wearing greats will be represented -- from Super Friends to Underdog to Powerpuff Girls, and probably more than a few superheroes you've forgotten now that you're a brunch-eating, mimosa-drinking "sophisticated" adult.

Although, maybe the awesomest thing about this party is the fact that you actually are an adult and no one will be there telling you not to eat too much cereal or that you're sitting too close the screen. No, no, just the opposite: This party features 50 (!) different varieties of sugar cereal served ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT! Don't even bother getting dressed on Saturday, just roll down to the Ritz in your PJs (we do ask that you don't show up naked, it's not quite that kind of party). So come, eat up, and sit as close as you like. We promise we won't tell your parents or significant other.

Your last chance to experience the terror of HUMAN CENTIPEDE

HUMAN CENTIPEDE - Wednesday 7/21 and Thursday 7/22 at Lake Creek
Advance tickets available here

Tom Six's insane biological horror film HUMAN CENTIPEDE (FIRST SEQUENCE) has been turning heads and churning stomachs for a while now. If you are still working up the courage to watch this in the theater, you better hurry up, because you're running out of time! Not only did this film win Best Horror Film at FF09, but it also took Best Horror Actor as well for Dieter Laser's portrayal of the mad Dr. Heiter. This is definitely a film that has to be appreciated on the big screen (eating or drinking while watching is purely optional).

Billing itself as a 100% medically accurate horror film, HUMAN CENTIPEDE tells the tale of Dr. Heiter, a once respected surgeon who specializes in separating Siamese twins. Not satisfied by the simple parting of conjoined twins, he sets his sights on evolving his craft by joining three humans together with one digestive tract. When two lost tourists come knocking on Dr. Heiter's door, his demented plan starts to take shape.

If you're in the mood for a great shocking horror film, or need a lesson in the dangers of going "ass-to-mouth", HUMAN CENTIPEDE will not disappoint.